Question #2 (aka Negativity)

I know my past few posts have been depressing, unhappy, and just plain negative. It was never my plan for this to happen but that's just how I have been feeling lately. I wish I could post a blog that said, "Hey, something great happened today..." and hopefully I will be post one like that one day. But the truth is that things just aren't great lately. That doesn't mean that every day is bad--actually most days are okay. 80% of the time I actually do feel okay. To me okay is in the middle---not bad but also not good. But I guess I just don't type blogs about my okay days because okay is boring.

So here's my question---why do people think that "okay" means "bad"? I had a manager who recently got transferred to another store who told me I was just like her husband. "Whenever I ask him how work was he says 'fine' or 'okay'," she told me. "That's just the same thing you do Steph." When I asked her if that was a bad thing she said, "No, but it just gives the illusion that you are never good." Is she right? Well, I know I already answered that by saying that I am okay most of the time. But okay does not mean bad. Okay means okay!

I know that body language plays a bigger part in your appearance than words ever can. When people ask how I'm doing I try to say "fine/okay/good (yes, I've been saying good lately so people will think I am good)" in an upbeat way and I try my best to give out good vibes as well. So here's another question--why do I have to try so hard? It doesn't seem like other people are putting forth this much of an effort--why do I have to? And, most of all, why does it matter if I am just okay? Okay is better than bad. Heck, even I were really, really bad does that even matter in the long run? Or even if I'm really good? Does that really affect people?

It's just kind of annoying that I'm obsessing about this stupid thing so much.

Let It Be

Have you ever sat down and listened to the lyrics of The Beatles' song Let It Be?

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. Yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

You know, that's something to think about. Someone recently told me, "There are three ways to handle a (difficult) situation; Do it, don’t do it, or just do nothing at all. It is never good to just do nothing because then you don’t have control over the results.”

Sorry, but I do not agree with that. Sometimes you've got to just let it be.

Just think about it.

EDIT: Go into my comments to read a fun fact brought to you in part by Theresa.

(No seriously, do it. I totally didn't know that!)

STOP!!!

STOP!
Please, life; just stop for
one brief moment.
I need to breathe. I need to take this in.
I'm stuck.
I'm sinking in a pit of quick sand.
Not really, but still...

STOP!
Please stop doubting me.
I know what I am doing
For once.
Things can't change over night. Rome wasn't
built in a day
you know?

STOP!
Please stop thinking that I am not listening.
I am.
I hear you loud and clear. This is why I came to you
and why I continue to come.

STOP!
Please stop thinking that.
I know you blame me
but it is NOT my fault!
Don't shoot the messenger.
Don't shoot me.
I am just trying to help.

STOP!
Please stop everything
and LISTEN TO ME!
But you won't listen, will you?
You don't want to hear the truth. Well, okay then,
I get it!
But when you get hurt then don't come crying to me.
Because I tried to help.

STOP!
Please Steph, stop doing this
to yourself.
Stop making yourself cry.
Stop getting worked up over things
that you can't help.
Stop being afraid.
Stop being sad.
Stop thinking that it's hopeless
it's not.
You know better than that!

Most of all, Steph
DON'T stop trying!
Don't you dare! You are stronger
than all of this.
Don't you forget it!

I know...


but it's still hard.