"Hate" Update

Okay, so I've been somewhat thinking about what I last wrote over the past week and I've realized a lot of those things I actually don't "hate" after all. Don't get me wrong--they still annoy me, but hate was, indeed, too strong of a word. There are things on that list I can change and there are things that I cannot change. There are things that don't really matter and things that are pretty serious. However, for the most part, I think it's okay. It's okay to dislike things. It's okay to be annoyed at things other people do. That's part of being human, right? Well actually, even my cats are kind of the same. I bought some Pounce treats for them and Malcolm will devour them whole while Miles sniffs them and just walks away.

I've learned something though--I don't want to be a hateful person. I don't want to miss out on the good things because I've focused mainly on the bad. That goes not only with my list but just in the world itself. Things are tough now but it's not all bad. I mean, just look at the gas prices. They've plummeted!!! That's so amazing to me!!! I mean, did any of us imagine this would happen any time soon? I sure didn't. See, that's one positive. There's one good thing that exists in the world. Hmmm, that sounds familiar...

"It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened. But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding on to, Sam?

That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for!"

(Steph, you're the biggest dork in the whole world!)

Okay, a little cheesy, but I love it! Tolkien was a genius!!!

I'm not saying that I'm a hero or anything--I haven't really done anything at all. Things have just been so hard lately. I haven't really had a moment's peace this whole year--and that really sucks! But there have been people along the way who have helped me along and I am grateful for that. Some even helped by kicking me down--as weird as that might sound. I need to accept that fact that things have changed for me. I guess I got what I wanted--but I haven't accepted it yet. It's like asking for roses and being delivered ones made of paper. Not what I originally wanted but kind of better in the long run because paper ones won't die.

Anyway, that's what I've been thinking about lately. I don't really feel any better but I suppose it's a step in the right direction. I can't change how people act or what people do but I can change how I handle it.

That's what I've learned--again and again and again and again and again.

It never ends.