Pure fiction (though kind, sorta, maybe, somewhat based on reality)

Jillian sat with her legs crossed as she unknowingly tapped her french-manicured nails on the table. Her long, blond hair fell down the back of her sparkly, purple tube top.

"Ugh, she's late," Jillian muttered under her breath.

A goth waitress approached her table with a look of annoyance Jillian had seen earlier. "You wanna order yet?"

"Um, I already told you," Jillian sneered, "my friend isn't here yet!"

"Sorry," the waitress said as she sulked away.

Jillian rolled her eyes as she pulled her blingy, faux-emerald crested cell phone out of her $90 handbag. It was two minutes passed the last time she had checked it. "What is her problem?" she thought. "This is, like, so rude!"

Just then, the singer Ke$ha's voice wailed from her phone. Jillian answered it in six notes. "O.M.G. Where ARE you? I've been sitting here for-EV-er, and this goth chick is, like, totally being a snob to me!"

"I'm not coming."

"Um... what?"

"Jillian," the voice was rude, but sincere. "I can't deal with you right now."

"W-what are you talking about, Sade?"

"I can't deal with you or your stupid problems. I'm not coming to lunch. You're selfish, stupid, and I can't stand your boyfriend."

"What does Dirk have to do with this?" Jillian snapped.

"He's boring. All he ever talks about is Family Guy. Newsflash: no one cares about Family Guy! Also, he always goes on about the news."

"So, isn't the news, like important?"

"Of course," Sadie replied. "But he just assumes everyone is as liberal as he is. He doesn't let anyone else chime in about things. Plus, whenever you say anything, anything at all, he turns to me and says, 'Isn't Jillian cute? She says the funniest stuff!' "

"What's wrong with him saying that?"

"Jillian," Sadie sighed. "You're so naive. You can't even see the fact that Dirk sees you as a little girl. You're a part of his collection, though not shrink wrapped. He's creepy and weird."

"You know what," Jillian stood, grabbed her handbag, and headed towards the door. "YOU'RE just jealous, Sadie! Your last break-up was shi% and you can't handle the fact that anyone else in the world is happy!"

"See, that's what I meant. You're naive."

"Naive about WHAT?" Jillian opened her car door and slammed it behind her.

"You live in a fantasy world, Jill. You think you're happy living in your condo with your career and your small dogs. You love having Dirk as your man. You love the image you portray. When you're high, you're high. If anyone, like me, comes looking for help--you shove them away. There's no room for darkness in your world of light.

"But then, when things go wrong in your family or you have some stupid fight with Dirk, you want the whole world to shower you with sympathy. 'Oh poor, poor Jillian! Her uncle in Arkansas stubbed his toe; everyone rush to her aid!' You don't care about my problems, though. You won't listen to what others are going through, so why should we listen to you?"

"Look Sadie," Jillian had started her car and was weaving in and out of traffic. "I don't know what your problem is, but I've never been treated so rudely in my life! As far as I'm concerned, we're through!"

"I thought you'd say that," Sadie replied. "I know I was harsh, but I wanted to tell you the truth. It really hurt that you blew off my birthday to stay home and do puzzles with Dirk."

"I stayed home because I was stressed out. You don't know what I'm going through!"

"Okay, whatever," said Sadie. "But just so you know, I'm going through bad stuff too. You don't even understand the financial peril I've been in trying to help out my brother. He's probably going to go back to jail because of his addictions."

But Jillian didn't hear those last few sentences. She hung up on Sadie.

"Bitch," Jillian muttered as she sped her way home.

Trust and Faith

"It is more shameful to distrust our friends than to be deceived by them. " --Confucius

It has recently come to my attention that a friend of mine doesn't trust me. Or rather, she doesn't have faith in me. Needless to say, this is unsettling.

Hold on, Steph. Who are you to talk about trust? YOU don't trust anyone! Also, as you've blogged before, you've lost faith in all humanity!

Alright, calm down. Although technically true, I never said I don't trust my FRIENDS. I just don't trust the general population... a.k.a. humanity. And I've lost faith in them mostly due to what years of retail has taught me. Customers suck.

That's besides the point. I don't understand why my friend doesn't trust me because, as far as I know, I have a squeaky-clean track record with him/her. I have most always been true to my word and I've made it a point to not cancel on planned events. Also, as of a few days ago, I was welcomed with open arms into my friend's home.

But I will admit that there is a bit of a backstory to all of this. One person I no longer trust (due to that person's actions) is friends with my distrusting-friend.

Wow. This isn't confusing at all.

Look, I'm not going to get into the technicalities, okay? My friend thinks that I am going to ruin an upcoming event by doing... well... I don't even know what... fighting, I guess, with the person I distrust.

What?

He/she thinks I'm going to cause problems, even though I've told him/her that I won't. Now, to his/her credit, it is a semi-resonable thing to be concerned about. After all, I wouldn't want drama at my get-together either. And it is somewhat reassuring that he/she has also spoken with the other party.

Jeez, Steph. Why didn't you just use fake names? It's not like either one of them read this blog... or anyone, for that matter.

What I am really trying to say is that my word is not any assurance for my friend. He/she thinks I am going to cause problems. I'm not. I have absolutely no desire to do so. All I want to do is go to the get-together, catch up with people I haven't seen in awhile, and just have fun. So what if so-and-so is going to be there? He/she had every right to be invited, same as me. I'm not ghetto and have never been very confrontational anyway. (Not to imply that all ghetto people ARE confrontational... they're not.)

But let me end by saying this... it doesn't feel good knowing that you don't trust me, friend. Considering all that's happened (and you KNOW what I mean), I think I've handled myself decently. It's at LEAST a C+. Can't you please have some faith in me?

And to you, reader; oh what you must think. "She's crazy," "She's paranoid," "She's bitter and cold," "She's cynical," "She's stupid," "She had a mean soul!"

Think what you will... I know I do.