My Life

"There are places I'll remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all..."
-From "In My Life" by The Beatles

I've been thinking a lot about this part (which is the first part) of this song lately. I know I wrote about changes in an earlier blog but it is still on my mind. I have found myself stopped on the road of life. I honestly don't know what is ahead of me. It is not as though the road is dark; I am not stuck in sadness or depression like I was before. I am actually doing better than I was earlier this year. I've just stopped to look ahead and the road just seems ever winding. It goes on and on and I cannot see what lies ahead.

I know you're probably thinking, "Duh Steph, NO ONE can!"

Yes, that is true. I just thought that I would be able to see something once the darkness that had once consumed me drifted away. Is that a stupid thing to ask? I mean, shouldn't there be SOMETHING in my line of sight?

.C5R4FIJKA8fghjk (<---- Aack, my cat jumped on the keyboard. Silly kitty!) Anyway, I am thinking I should not dwell on it. If I dwell too much on things I make myself crazy! I think the best thing for me to do is just to keep moving on. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

So that's what I am going to do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZ5N4-X_HWU

Miles and Malcolm

Hello, hello my friends!

Yes, I have returned to the world that is called "blogging". I apologise for my absence. My heart has just not been in to writing due to recent events in my life. I just could not do it. I am even grossly behind on my personal journal, which I always prefer to update on a nightly basis. However, I must get back on the horse, as they say, and try to move on. I need to not dwell on things that I have absolutely NO control of!

Anyway, I wanted to write today about my two new kittens--Miles and Malcolm. I have had them for a little over a week now! This is probably going to sound uber-cheesy but I honestly believe that they have helped speed up my healing process. In one way they have forced me to forget about my "wounds" by taking up my free time so I can properly care for and love them. But in another way they have helped simply by loving me in return. Which, I must admit, is the greatest reward.

When I'm gone for awhile or even at work for the day they always run to greet me when I open the door and call out their names. When I'm sitting on the couch doing homework or watching TV they always come and lay on my lap or snuggle up next to me. They like to be held and I like to take them on one-on-one "field trips" around the house or outside to get the mail. They have become very precious to me.

While I was at work today I was thinking about them and about what I wanted to write today. Anyone who knows me knows that I love animals, especially pets. I have always loved pets, even when I was very, very young. I've realized lately why I love them so much. They are loving and caring by nature, especially to their human masters, or friends. Pets don't care what you look like, how much money you make, or what you are doing in your life. They just love to be petted, held, taken care of, and loved. Pets don't judge you like humans do. They are true friends.

Now I know there are exceptions. Not all pets are nice and not all humans are jerks. And I am not saying that my kittens are my only friends either. I am blessed to have many great HUMAN friends in my life (some are probably reading this blog right now). But I just wish we could all, myself definitely included, learn to love unconditionally as pets usually do. Perhaps that is why pets were put on the Earth--to teach us to be kind.

But there is one question I must ask---how can people not like pets? I can understand if your allergic to them but how could you not have a pet because you hate pets? How is that even possible? I just don't get it.

Cómo me estoy sintiendo

Si usted sabe la historia usted la sabe pero si usted no lo hace entonces yo no va a decirle porque lastima. Sin embargo, aquí están algunas sensaciones que tengo que puede verter la luz en cómo estoy haciendo hoy.

Me siento…

Herido, cepillado-a un lado, achy, dolorido, triste, pisoteado, golpeado-abajo con el pie, sin valor, absurdo, estúpido, roto, doloroso, indeseable, no bueno bastante, como un perdedor, muerto-dentro de, aspirar-seco, traicionado, negado, pisoteado, desgraciado, lastimado, vacío, solamente, y muy, muy infeliz.

“Ahora sé que tengo un corazón porque está quebrado.”

Estas palabras realmente ahora suenan verdad a mí.

No sé si o cuándo pararé el sentir de estas cosas pero asumo que ALGÚN DÍA. Estoy apesadumbrado de ser tan abajo. No deseo hacer cualquier persona sentir mal sino que realmente necesité expresar hacia fuera mis sensaciones. Ése es porqué esto se escribe todo en Español-bien, además del hecho de que me ayudará con mi clase.

CUANDO me siento mejor, pues soy seguro yo voluntad eventual, escribiré un blog feliz. Pero lleve por favor con mí hasta entonces como estoy en un lugar oscuro y aburrido. Necesito permanecer aquí un rato para curar.

Gracias por ser paciente con mí.

Never Gonna Give You Up

This isn't really a blog. I got this on another website and after I filled it out I found it so funny that I wanted to share it on here. The directions were as follows...

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, iPOD etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Before He Cheats (Carrie Underwood)
What? LOL.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
If Everyone Cared (Nickelback)
Well, I guess that's kind of my philosophy in life.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY?
Rebels of the Sacred Heart (Flogging Molly)
Hmmm, I guess I like rebels--good rebels(?)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Mercy (Duffy)
Well, yes actually. Wow!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Leaving Town (Dexter Freebish)
"I'll still be here when you get back." Yeah, that's kinda me. Not really my life's purpose but okay...

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Everywhere (Michelle Branch)
A one word motto eh? Sure, why not.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
The Main Title from "Rudy" (Rudy Soundtrack)
Ha ha, they don't think anything. There's no words. Classic!

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
You Get What You Give (New Radicals)
Meh, maybe. I don't really know.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
I'd Do Anything for Love... (Meat Loaf)
Not really

WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO SOMEONE?
Requiem For a Dying Song (Flogging Molly)
Yeah maybe...

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
The Sweet Escape (Gwen Stefani)
No, that really doesn't work.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
The Prayer (Josh Groban and Charlotte Church)
Well, I pray for the people I care about, so this works.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Take a Chance on Me (ABBA)
Ha ha, okay...

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU GET OLDER?
Drift Away (Uncle Kracker)
That's freakin' hilarious right there!

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Mrs. Robinson (Simon and Garfunkel)
No, no, very no. Maybe if I liked Mrs. Robinson, but I don't!

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Hometown Glory (Adele)
Gee, what a rip-roarin' affair that would be!

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Dancing Queen (ABBA)
So my funeral will be more exciting than my wedding? Harsh...

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Candle in the Wind (Elton John)
No, not really interested in Marilyn Monroe.
(EDIT: Or Princess Di---thanks TJ :)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Sally's Song (The Nightmare Before Christmas)
That actually IS one of my fears. Weird...

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Too Shy (Kajagoogoo)
That's not a secret. I am too shy sometimes.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring (Josh Groban)
That's just really, really weird.

DESCRIBE YOUR FIRST KISS.
Killer Queen (Queen)
Um, no. Maybe if it was called Killer King. No, not even then.

WHAT IS YOUR IDEAL WEEKEND?
I Believe in a Thing Called Love (The Darkness)
That's awfully vague and doesn't really answer the question.

WHAT WILL YOU NAME YOUR FIRST BORN CHILD?
Billie Jean (Michael Jackson)
HAHAHAHAHA!!! No WAY!!!! Awesome!!!

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Still Alive (GLaDOS)
HA! I WON'T DIE!!!

IF YOU HAD A SUPERPOWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Crush (David Archuleta)
I would crush people? Like the Hulk or something? Hmmm

WHAT WILL THE TITLE OF THIS JOURNAL BE?
Never Gonna Give You Up (Rick Astley)
Okay, you're the boss.